Christmas Reflections from a Military Wife

Myth: I Must Feel Joy

This winter, I’ve had a lot of time to think, reflect, search internally as I anticipate a difficult Christmas season. I’m only one of many, many stories around how low this season can feel, when everywhere are big letters of “JOY” and signs of impending celebration. And, of course, I should feel celebratory. The most important event in the history of the world is being remembered!

I want to feel celebratory, I want to be joyful, and I am so incredibly grateful for the only reason we even have Christmas, for my King Who came in such an amazing and humble way. No king, anywhere, does what my King did for me. I’m constantly grateful and humbled. I’ve realized more this year than before what Mary and Joseph must have gone through to have the baby Jesus, how messy that was (read about that here).

Myth: My Feelings Will Change

I can’t say that my feelings follow what I know about why I should feel so elated and joyful. Despite all the valid reasons I should feel those emotions, I don’t. In front of my face every moment of every day is my raw sadness, depression even. It’s driven this year in particular by my daily sacrifice for our country’s freedom, which sounds grandiose, but in some ways, I want others to feel sorry for me.

My husband and I both are sacrificing for you. How selfish. How arrogant! How not Jesus-like of me. I want my husband here, but at the same time, I am also proud of him for signing up to wear the uniform and for defending and maintaining freedoms that I, too, enjoy. It’s my obligation to make this sacrifice for my own freedom, just as much as for yours. We all benefit from what he and his comrades are doing right now, and what many will continue to do in years to come.

You, too, have stories of a similar struggle to maintain a façade of happiness and joy at each Christmas season.

I’ve been overwhelmed with emotions and as a result, frustrated with extreme tiredness. I’ve been worried that I am over-stretching myself and might have an emotional breakdown at the worst possible moment. I throw myself into projects, and while everyone tells me “you do too much,” those projects are the only thing holding me together right now.

Truth: I Am A Testimony

Amid the chaos of my mind, I decided to Examine my Christmas Traditions with this 20-min message, to make sense of what is happening inside and to be sure I’m not doing this to myself, and what I’ve realized this year is that keeping Jesus at the center is the work. Every pressure I sense at every turn, every song on the radio, every decoration, is not an obligation to forcefully “be happy” at the birth of my King. It’s ok for me to admit that I’m not particularly ecstatic this year, and, while family is not the reason for Christmas, it’s ok to be sad and to spend some time alone with my thoughts, doing my projects.

Not to avoid every celebration or tradition, but have a good cry before attending the Christmas Eve service, and to cry during the service, wishing my husband were holding my hand and making memories with me. I don’t need to be burdened with sadness and crying every minute, but it’s alright to let it out, too. Jesus loves me like I love my husband, so even in my tears He is still honored, He is still adored.

Because I want to celebrate His birth with My Love (my hubby), and that’s not wrong, that’s ok, more than ok. It’s why He came in the first place, so that we could serve Him together, and our hearts longing to be together is simply another reflection of the wonderfulness of Jesus. He has knit us so close that we ache when we’re apart, and that is our testimony to Him.

All messages on VRM are free of charge, and available to you solely by donations. Donate now via Venmo, CashApp, or PayPal to keep the Gospel available worldwide.